


forces on the heart

by melbopo



Series: Julius's AU! [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec is so smitten it hurts, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Professors, Developing Relationship, Graduate School, M/M, Meet-Cute, Miscommunication, Misread of a potential Professor/Student relationship, Misunderstandings, Not Beta Read, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, all characters in this fic are the age of their actors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 06:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12163524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melbopo/pseuds/melbopo
Summary: Shit - falling for Izzy’s professor was definitely not on the explicitly detailed itemized list of responsibilities for covering her advanced physics class this week.





	forces on the heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [agustdyke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/agustdyke/gifts).



> the most heartwarming of belated birthday wishes to my oldest friend in the shadowhunters fandom, ju !  
> -julius, i know this fic is like FOUR months late for your birthday so maybe consider it also a friendaversary present instead?? i know things have been really tough for you these past couple of months but i also know that you're way tougher than anything that could come your way as well as one of the most loving, kind, and protective people i have ever met ! thank you for being the loyal gemini gem to my crybaby cancer ass - i am so proud of you every day and honored to have you in my life!! i hope this fic makes you feel even a smidgen of warmth that i've felt this past year from being your friend ilyilyily
> 
> special s/o to kesha, SZA, halsey, and lady gaga's latest albums for being the soundtrack to this fic (and my summer!)

  


Alec curses his unlucky stars under his breath as he peers through the small door window at a packed class and the professor, with their back to him, already writing out a long equation on the front blackboard. If this lecture was one of his own, he'd probably just turn around and retreat to his apartment but he made a promise to Izzy so he takes a deep breathe and just opens the door. Despite his best attempt to open it as slowly as humanly possible, the door squeaks on rusty hinges, alerting everyone in the last three rows of the auditorium style classroom to his arrival. To avoid alerting the rest of the class and professor of his tardiness, he quickly slides into the first open seat he sees in the last row.

As he rummages for a pen through his frantic dashing, jumble induced bag, Alec glances at the student to his left who is diligently taking notes on a bright pink piece of paper, which must be the assignment sheet of practice problems for the week. Alec remembers Izzy's strict instructions on her detailed list of his requirements for this week to scan her a copy and that the professor purposefully prints it out on bright paper to make them harder to lose so he shouldn't miss it. Alec looks around and fails to see any extra pink sheets in his row. He tunes into the professor, already feeling overwhelmed and very behind despite only being seven minutes late to class.

"This equation will be most useful for this week's problem set. Of course you'll have to calculate the majority of the variables but once you do, it should be pretty much straightforward after that. And as always, I have office hours today from 2:30pm to 4, Wednesday from 2:30pm to 4, Thursday from 1pm to 4pm, and Friday right after class from 12 to 1pm."

Alec quickly jots down both the equation and the office hours for today so he can stop by to grab the assignment later. The professor turns around, clapping their hands together once, dispelling some residue chalk dust from their fingers as they clear their throat. Momentarily distracted by the notion that people still use chalk in the day and age of whiteboards and smart boards, it takes a moment for Alec to fully register that this professor is not the same person that taught him physics in this same classroom over six years ago. Alec's eyes trail up a slightly flared waistcoat with silver detailed military shoulder bands that even from this distance, accent shoulders so broad that his breath catches in his throat at their sight.

"Alright, so now that we've officially exhausted the basics of free body diagrams and how objects are impacted by a single force being acted upon them, it's time to take it a step further: multiple forces acting on an object."

Forces - right. He's in a physics class and supposed to be taking notes, not drooling over how good the professor looks in that coat or how well their deep voice carries across the whole classroom. He’s done this class before and he can definitely do it again for the week, even with a much more attractive professor than he had.

"While many of you probably won't use these exact equations on a regular basis in your future, the fundamental principles are definitely going to play a role in all of your lives so even having a basic understanding will make your life easier. Like knowing how to move that heavy bookshelf across your floor without lifting it or if your car dies, what's the best way to push it without draining all your energy.” The professor enthusiastically explains with a raised eyebrow and dazzlingly white smile before turning back to the black board with a simple, “so let's begin". The movement causes the overhead lights to reflect just so off the light highlight on professor's dark tawny cheeks, giving them a literal glow as they start in on a topic that they clearly care about which causes an unexpected and unusual force on Alec’s heart: the stirrings of a crush.

~~~~~~~

After his own Monday afternoon lab that he is the teacher’s assistant (TA) for, Alec wanders the maze-like dark hallways of the physics building for Professor Bane's office. When Alec finally happens upon the office, it's tucked away in the back corner of a long hallway filled with dark brown filing cabinets and rooms that don't follow a traditionally logical numbering sequence. The door is open ajar with the light streaming from the crack providing better visibility than the dim, flickering bulbs overhead.

The whole horror movie vibe only adds to the nerves bubbling in Alec's stomach. It's been years since the last time he felt the fluttering butterflies of a legitimate crush. The last time being when he was a baby faced undergrad who realized he was gay when fell hard for his engineering 110 tutor, Raj. Even though Alec never made a move because Raj was in a monogamous relationship, Alec’s whole world kinda came into clearer focus after that and he finally found stable enough footing to break things off with his "high school sweetheart" Lydia. So his nerves about making a fool of himself in front of someone he finds attractive are totally justified; it's been over eight years.

He knocks quickly on the door before his nerves can talk him out of it. A distracted, "come in!" calls out in response. Alec pushes open the door all the way, relieved when he first notices the seats in front of the desk vacant. His eyes quickly take in the rather tightly organized office, filled with a teal couch armchair, four overflowing floor to ceiling bookcases, a deep maroon rug, a couple of chairs, and an old wooden desk covered in stacks of paper and picture frames. Even with so much packed in the space, it feels bright and open from all the light that the two wall sized windows in the corner of the room let in.

"I don't think I've seen your face in my office hours before..."

Alec turns his focus back on the source of the voice and the reason for the butterflies in his stomach. Professor Bane sits on the other side of the wood desk, one hand holding a green pen poised in mid hair and the other wrapped around a baby blue tea cup with a small intricate pattern. From this close, Alec can catalogue all the details he couldn't quite see from the back of the classroom like their plush lips framed by a faint goatee, light eyeliner on their bottom eye lid, and fading blonde streaks on top of their carefully coiffed almost mohawk styled hair. His eyes quickly take in the rich blue silky button up, that rests snug against those broad shoulders, with rolled up sleeves showing off tone golden brown forearms that serve as further evidence of Professor Bane's affinity for personal fitness. The natural light that streams in from the windows highlight the slight glitter on Professor Bane's cheekbones, reminding Alec of the lecture and bringing him back to the present moment.

"Well this _is_ my first time - my name's Alec."

"Alec, can you refresh my memory of your preferred pronouns again? I haven't quite learned my chart for all 425 students I have this semester, nevermind their names." Professor Bane asks with a friendly smile that crinkles the corner of their eyes just so, making Alec feel a little weaker in the knees as he smiles in response, "he/him."

"Thanks! What can I help you with today?"

"I was late to class today so I missed the assignment sheet for this week's problem set. Do you have an extra copy? For Physics 112?"

Professor Bane makes no move towards any of the papers strewed across the desk, they narrow their eyes slightly, "why were you late?"

Alec tilts his head slightly in confusion at the question, but the tone sounds genuinely curious. "I was trying to get the right angle of this old tree illuminated by the sun.”

"Did you get it?"

Alec shrugs one shoulder as he slowly shakes his head side to side, "I got a couple of options that have potential."

"Can I see?" Now it's Alec's turn to narrow his eyes. Even though he does have his camera on him, he's unsure of what exactly Professor Bane is getting at.

Sensing Alec's confusion, Professor Bane's expression turns playful, "I'm just curious if the shot was worth being late to my class." The simple explanation manages to sound both like they meant the question as a suggestion that Alec can refuse as well as a challenge about Alec's skill level. And Alec does love a good challenge, especially one he knows he can win.

He reaches into his messenger bag hanging by his side for his Nikon camera, turning it on and quickly flicking back to the start of the photo set. He clears out his memory card every night so he isn't worried about Professor Bane finding any embarrassingly awful pictures but Alec also hasn't had the opportunity to clear through them yet himself so there are about 40 pictures of the same tree to sort through. He offers his camera over to Professor Bane's now teacup-less outstretched hand. "I haven't had a chance to look through them all on a bigger screen yet but there are at least three shots I feel confident about."

Professor Bane's eyebrows draw together in concentration as they focus on the image previewed on the small screen. Alec's eyes catch on the black nail polish on Professor Bane's thumb as they click through the photos. Alec takes the free reign to unabashedly admire Professor Bane's beauty from such close proximity. Taking in even more details, like the multitude of different rings that decorate long fingers, furthering add to their allure in Alec's eyes. The glint of the metallic rings remind Alec of the beloved metal Star of David belt and cheesy patterned button ups that were staples of his physics professor when he took physics 112. Now that Alec thinks about it, his physics teacher loved to talk about her and her wife's retirement plans during office hours. He thanks her, wherever she may be in the midwest on her National Parks retirement RV road trip, for finally retiring and allowing the most beautiful person he has ever seen to fill her space.

Alec watches as Professor Bane reaches the end of the photoset and clicks back again for a few moments as if searching for what is the best in their own opinion. "So what is a photographer doing in an advanced physics class?" Professor Bane prods as they lower the camera down while returning their gaze to Alec.

"My degree is in mechanical engineering - photography is just a hobby."

Professor Bane hands back Alec's camera as they reply, "Well you're very talented at it, especially considering it's just a hobby." Alec blushes slightly at the genuine praise, quickly glancing at the camera screen to see what photo Professor Bane scrolled back to. A little bit of pride fills him when he realizes that the shot still up is one of his personal favorites as well.

“Yeah I thought about changing my major to fine arts to pursue photography but a practical career is a must in my family.” Alec remarks absentmindedly as he puts the cover back on his camera, a lighthearted hardness in his voice that hints at a thoroughly discussed issue that he’s over -for the most part.

“What’s not practical about photography? About pursuing your interests?” Professor Bane prods, tilting their head to the side slightly and causing their cheek to glimmer with the movement.

Alec chuckles to himself, focusing his attention down to arrange a spot in his bag for his camera, “it’s success rate for starters then there’s making a living. Having one struggling artist in the family is more than enough.” Professor Bane’s expression remains inquisitive. “Plus I enjoy engineering too-it’s actually given me a better eye for the angles and pictures _I_ like. My research focus is biomimicry so I’ve been finding those shots where nature resembles design and structures resemble nature or simply instances where nature resembles itself in different mediums or forms, all around me these days.”

Once his camera is carefully stowed away, Alec looks back to Professor Bane. Their curious expression having changed into something that’s a unique combination of thoughtful and a kind, “that sounds really interesting Alec.” And their words sound so genuine and warm that Alec can’t help the smile slowly spreading across his lips. He finds himself wanting to wrap himself in that warmth, wants to hear that voice every day and be the reason for that almost fond look. Alec’s not sure if it’s his rapidly growing crush, Professor Bane’s words, or just how otherworldly they look cloaked in the sun’s rays, but he feels almost entranced in the moment as they smile at each other. And it feels like time slows down as the moment stretches into two and then three and then the ping of an incoming text message to Alec’s phone startles him back to the now.

He’s not sure if the moment was entirely romanticized in his head but the rather neutral expression Professor Bane is wearing as they flick through the stack of colorful papers on the right of their desk definitely seems to support that notion. “Well I hope that you continue to follow your heart. And here is this week’s assignment sheet. My hours are almost over for today but do you have any other questions?”

Alec wants to have more questions, something to prolong his time with Professor Bane to even just get to know them better but he’s already been here for almost an hour and he doesn’t want to keep Professor Bane late for his own selfish reasons. Alec takes the bright pink sheet from Professor Bane’s hand and shakes his head back and forth, “nope, this is all I have for now.”

“I’ll see you in class on Wednesday then. And if you have any more questions or comments, feel free to stop by during office hours again.”

Alec tucks the assignment sheet in between his notebooks, to lower the likelihood of losing it, while responding, “well now that I know where your office is, I’ll be sure to come if I have questions.” Professor Bane draws their eyebrows together in confusion. “I got a little lost trying to make my way here.”

Professor Bane chuckles at Alec’s explanation, “these windows are worth the extra hassle of getting to the office in my opinion. But I did try to clearly describe the best route to get here in the syllabus.”

“I don't have that either…” Alec admits sheepishly.

“Did capturing the perfect angle make you miss the first day too?” Professor Bane says with a playful tilt as they pick up the last sheet of paper in the colorful stack. Their smile is just as teasing as their voice when Alec plucks the light blue packet from their outstretched hand. And it’s official: that force on his heart was a full on shove, pushing Alec well into the territory of a deep, deep crush on Professor Bane.

~~~~~~~

Come Wednesday, Alec finds himself a whole fifteen minutes early to class just to guarantee he has a front row seat. Whether it's to ensure he doesn’t miss the small details in Professor Bane's outfit or any more handouts, Alec won't divulge the truth (even with himself).

To pass the time, Alec takes out the syllabus Professor Bane handed him two days ago. Learning different fun facts about Professor Bane as he reads through, like preferred pronouns of he/him and that his classes from the last spring semester are available on youtube for accessibility and refreshers on the material. The sudden lack of background chatter causes Alec to lift up his head, his eyes immediately drawn to the door in the corner of the classroom by the front chalk boards where Professor Bane stands half in the room and half in the hall, still in the midst of a conversation.

He finally fully pulls into the classroom with a parting wave to the stranger out of sight. His blazer today is a rich deep purple with black trim details on the lapels and pockets, his shirt is a simple white button down with a black neck scarf to keep the attention on the blazer (and his adam's apple), and simple black skinny jeans. Alec lets his eyes wander down Professor Bane's side profile, admiring just how blatant his muscular strength is in this traditionally profession outfit, with thighs and biceps that are the opposite of hidden under his clothing layers.

"Good morning everyone," Professor Bane greets with a warm voice, which bringing Alec's eyes back up to Professor Bane's equally stunning face, his hair styled upright and a dark purple, almost black, eyeliner accenting his mischievously smart eyes. Okay, maybe that last bit about his eyes is just Alec projecting his residual warm feelings from their playful conversation on Monday but he feels the descriptor to be true.

Professor Bane puts down his leather satchel on the table at the front of the room to remove a couple of pieces of yellow chalk from the side pocket. "Before we get back to where we left off on Monday, does anyone have any questions about the problem set for this week besides the one change I already emailed out?"

Professor Bane pauses for a moment, his eyes scanning the classroom for any possibly raised hands. When his eyes meet with Alec's, Professor Bane moves his head back slightly before giving Alec a genuine smile. He’s pretty sure that look was one of surprise but he’s not positive if it was from recognizing him or the fact that he's in the front row today. Regardless, that smile makes Alec melt a little on the inside and he fights back the automatic sigh response when Professor Bane twists around on the spot to face the blackboard and resumes Monday's lecture.

A sharp tsk from the person next to him causes Alec to turn to face them slowly. They shake their head slightly, jostling their naturally tight curls and briefly drawing Alec's attention to the thin dark scars across their neck that contrasts against their light taupe skin. Alec feels the tips of his ears heat up at the disapproving look in their eyes, alerting him that he was horribly unsuccessful at hiding his swooning over Professor Bane and the judgement is high.

The rest of the class follows in a similar manner to the Monday class with Professor Bane pointing out examples that resemble their problem sets as well as bringing in real world scenarios whenever possible to make the physics lesson interesting to both physicists and non alike. He makes sure to reference instances that other majors, like art or engineering, have to be concerned with friction in their day to day. (Alec is positive that this time he withheld 100% of his reaction when Professor Bane looked at Alec while making a reference to mechanical engineering because there were no disapproving noises from next to him.)

Professor Bane even fields a ridiculous question about if it's the friction constants of different lubes that can cause condoms to break from heating up during "friction heavy" activities with a factual, "well if that were the case, you'd more likely be experiencing condoms melting from the generated frictional heat instead of tearing or breaking which stems from the chemical components of a lube, being oil based, and a condom, being latex. And if that's a topic that interests you, you can pursue it further in a chemistry classroom - but not physics." The class even takes that answer as sage advice instead of a prime moment to put someone in their place, nodding their heads as they jot down notes most likely about not mixing oil based lube with latex condoms to prevent breakage.

The way Professor Bane engages with the class about topics that tend to be dry or rarely even talked about, makes the the butterflies in Alec's stomach grow as he’s captivated throughout the whole lesson. He finds himself a little disappointed when Professor Bane reminds the class of his office hours that afternoon, signalling the end of the lecture. Alec makes a note in his phone that after his meeting with his research advisor, he should stop by Professor Bane's office to talk about class that day as a thinly veiled excuse to spend more time with him.

~~~~~~

Riding the euphoria of a really successful check in meeting for his thesis, Alec finds himself navigating the dark hallways of the physics building, eager to talk to Professor Bane even if it's just for the last thirty minutes of his office hours. This time when Alec arrives at Professor Bane's door, it's wide open but still the room occupies only one. Professor Bane sits at his desk, looking at ease with his white button up unbuttoned slightly more and blazer tossed on the couch while typing at a fast past on his laptop. Alec knocks on the door frame, Professor Bane doesn't look up from his computer screen as he grants Alec entrance.

He sits down in the chair in front of the desk, an amused glint to his lips as he watches Professor Bane continue typing away, top teeth biting gently on his bottom lip with eyebrows drawn in concentration. The sun illuminates him from behind, covering him in a golden spotlight as if to highlight upon the most beautiful aspect of the whole room. Alec can now tell that what he thought was a scarf earlier during class is actually a tied ascot, its short ends visible with the deeper v of Professor Bane's button up. He can practically hear Izzy chastising him in his head at his mistake but prior to today, Alec had assumed that ascots were an accessory that died at the same time Cartoon Network stopped making new episodes of Scooby Doo but perhaps he’s just in the wrong fashion circle.

Professor Bane hits a key with sense of finality as he looks up, his face relaxing into a smile as he recognizes Alec. "I noticed that you managed to make it to my class on time today." Professor Bane says in lieu of a greeting, his tone teasing and light.

Alec feels his cheeks heat up a little, his insides fluttering again as he remembers Professor Bane's smile at the start of class. Alec tries to not grin at the underlining praise in Professor Bane's words, instead leaning forward slightly to reply, "I was even early," which earns Alec a soft chuckle that he can't help but grin about.

"Well I'm glad you made coming to my class on time a prerogative.

What can I help you with today Alec? Do you have questions about the problem set?" Professor Bane asks, his face a little more serious and closed off as he brings up the homework questions.

"No," Alec pauses for a moment, trying to rack his brain for any sort of reason relevant to the class for him to be here right now that isn't the honest truth that he just wanted to talk to Professor Bane more. He says the next honest thing that comes to mind, "I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed the real life examples in class today - I find that it makes it easier to engage with the material that can be pretty dry at times."

Professor Bane looks surprised for a moment, clearly not expecting this topic of conversation but instead of asking why Alec couldn't just send an email about it (which probably would've been Alec’s response), Professor Bane smiles easily, "then I've achieved one of my most important goal as an educator."

Alec raises a single eyebrow in a curious fashion to encourage Professor Bane to continue, knowing there is more hiding in that smile. "How many physics majors do you know?"

Alec pauses, thinking not just about the handful he knows as fellow grad students but how many he knew in undergrad. "At least five but probably more."

"How about english?" Professor Bane prods.

"Around a dozen or so."

Professor Bane's eyes light up, "see! You're even in engineering, which is a major that probably interacts with physics majors the most out of all disciplines, but still the number of people you know majoring in physics is about half of that to english." The light in his eyes hints at a passion bubbling just below the surface and Alec wants to see it, wants to hear what fuels some of that fire in Professor Bane's eyes. "I want to show that physics is interesting and exciting and more than just long, complex formulas.”

“Do you think that’s where most physics courses tend to go wrong? By making it equation heavy and dry?” Alec asks, genuinely curious about Professor Bane’s perspective as someone that’s on the other side of the desk (literally and figuratively).

“I think many physics professors in their courses fail to engage their students and show that physics is relevant to them as well as an option.” Professor Bane says with a small matter of fact shrug. “Out of those five or so physics majors you know, how many of them are not white men?”

“None.”

It’s the jumping off point that continues the conversation into the realm of the lack of diversity in STEM (science, technology, engineering and math), especially physics, and what makes these majors or courses unattainable for women, people of color, and other minorities. Engineering education outreach is a passion and side hobby of Alec’s so he finds himself contributing more to the discussion, talking about how a great deal of the interest (or lack of) in STEM starts young. It leads them to talking about public school systems, from which both of them received their kindergarten through high school education, and how dependent that education is on the wealth of the district in which it’s located or else it falls onto the responsibility of parents. The conversation flows so easily between them that Alec loses sense of time, completely engrossed in this conversation with the brilliant man across from him.

Professor Bane’s retelling the time he was nearly suspended from high school for calling out his racist teacher, when his phone starts to ring. He picks it up from under a stray sheet of paper, reads who the caller is and mutes it. His eyebrows crinkle as he reads whatever else his phone is communicating to him on the screen, “wow I did not realize it was almost 5pm. Sorry to stop in the middle of a story, but I really should get going or else I’ll be late for my dinner date.”

It brings Alec sharply back to the moment: he’s in office hours with Professor Bane, someone Alec doesn’t personally as much as his caliber of crush lets on. “Sorry I didn’t mean to stay past your office hours and make you late to your plans with your partner.”

Professor Bane shakes his head as he starts to gather up different things on his desk, “Oh I don’t have a partner - my date is with my good friend who does _not_ like when I’m late for plans that revolve around food.” He turns his head side to side, looking for something on or around his desk that he can’t seem to find.

“Then I am even more sorry - my sister is the same way. I always found her tolerance for my tardiness from working late nights to be much lower than any partner I’ve had.” Alec remarks as he picks up the satchel that he recognizes as Professor Bane’s from earlier that day from its hiding spot in front of the desk and puts it on top. Professor Bane chuckles in response, “maybe it’s because they know our workaholic tendencies the best.” He smiles his thanks for his bag, putting his laptop and other gathered things into it.

Alec laughs to himself, standing up from his chair as Professor Bane stands too. “That’s what my sister says: she cares deeply for me and about my success but that I work too much, always.”

Professor Bane has a playful smirk on his face as he rounds his desk, grabbing his blazer from the couch before following Alec out of his office. “Sounds like our previous partners didn’t care enough then.”

“Maybe that’s why none of them ever worked out,” Alec says with a much calmer voice than the flurry of butterflies he feels on the inside would let on. It feels like a big thing to say to someone that he likes as much as Professor Bane, who considers it for a moment as he locks his office door, “that’s probably true.” He straightens back up, his blazer draped over the forearm of the hand that holds his satchel. “Thanks for the riveting discussion today - it’s been awhile since I’ve talked with someone that is passionate about STEM accessibility in ways similar to myself.”

Alec once again tries not to visibly preen and blush under the compliment, allowing a grin to slip through his armor. “Thanks for talking about it with me - I learned a lot and had a good time.”

“Me too,” Professor Bane says with softness and sincerity. He pauses, pocketing his keys before adding in a tone that seems almost faux cheerful with a more reserved facial expression, “well I’ll see you in class.”

It feels like something has passed between them but Alec isn’t quite sure what that something is, it makes him feel a little lost and two steps behind. “Definitely. I’m even planning on being early again - guarantees a better seat that way.” Alec says with a playful smile, trying to pull them back to wherever they were before that _something_ happened. It doesn’t yield anything more than an uptick in the corner of Professor Bane’s lips. “Enjoy dinner and I hope I didn’t make you incur too great of a wrath from your friend.” Alec adds which warms Professor Bane’s smile a little.

“Have a good night Alexander”, Professor Bane says with a parting wave before turning and heading down the hall.

As he walks away, Alec stands rooted in the hallway, trying to process his slight confusion about the vaguely cold ending to their great interaction as well as his enjoyment at hearing his full first name fall from Professor Bane’s lips. It’s a sound that haunts Alec for the rest of the night as does the suddenly closed off facial reaction though for two very different reasons. He keeps playing their conversation over in his head, trying to discern if he said something off putting or disingenuous but he can’t seem to find the potential blunder. All this mental work has him wondering if he just imagined the demeanor change in his head, that somehow his rose tinted heart shaped crush influenced eyes are reading affection and openness (or a lack thereof) in Professor Bane’s interactions at their own volition.

~~~~~~

Alec finishes the editing touch ups on the photo he took Monday and his first thought is how he wants to share it with Professor Bane, to see what his reaction is to the finalized version. Alec is almost surprised by his desire to share this bit of himself, to put himself in that vulnerable position, but he’s quickly realizing that there are many new emotions, desires, and thoughts being stirred up by Professor Bane.

A quick glance down at the time tells Alec that Professor Bane’s office hours have only just started. With Alec’s own grad research check in work done as well as the grading for the lab he TA’s, he rationalizes that there really isn’t anything preventing him from going to office hours again and that maybe he’ll find an answer to the questions that plagued him the night previously. Once he makes up his mind, Alec prints off a copy of his edited photo and carefully packs it into his bag before heading off towards the physics building for the third time that week.

Alec must have the stars’ good graces back on his side, for when he arrives he finds that once again there are no other students visiting. Professor Bane looks slightly taken aback to see Alec in his doorway but gestures to the empty seat, his smile is cordial and his tone professional as he asks, “Questions about the problem set today?”

Alec can’t help the embarrassed blush that rises in his cheeks, reminded that he’s interrupting this man’s scheduled time to help his students with their homework related questions. He feels guilty for taking up so much of that time this week before reasoning with himself that no other students have appeared while he’s been there. He vows to himself that if any did show up, he’ll definitely leave for them to have their time. “No…” Alec says as he opens his bag and takes out his print out, “but I wanted to bring you the final version of that picture I took Monday.” He places the copy on Professor Bane’s desk, whose face becomes serious as he examines the photo in front of him.

The editing effects aren’t extremely drastic - just a desaturation to remove all color, increase in contrast to highlight the branches through the leaves, sharpening to define all the lines of the branches, and finally cropping the photo so just the tree takes up the entire space with no sky or ground in sight. The effects make the picture look less definitively like a tree.

Silence passes between them for one minute then two then that’s about all Alec can take of someone examining his work with little or no reaction so he clarifies, “it’s going to be part of a series. I’m going to do something similar with a single leaf from the tree. Then have the third photo be of the blood veins on an anatomical human heart, most likely drawn.”

Another moment or two passes in silence before Professor Bane looks back up, a soft smile on his lips that reaches all the way to his eyes and emphasize his laugh lines that continue to make Alec weak. He can’t help being struck by just how beautiful Professor Bane is. “It’s going to be an amazing series Alexander - I can’t wait to see it.”

Professor Bane says once again with such genuineness that Alec can only smile warmly in response to such a kind compliment, taking it easily instead of with discomfort. Professor Bane makes to hand back the photo and Alec shakes his head, “oh no, that’s for you to keep: my apology for being late.”

Professor Bane laughs as he says his thanks before asking Alec if this photo series ties into his research and just like that, they fall into an easy conversation about Alec’s research project as well as Professor Bane’s. Almost two hours pass when there is a knock at the door: a small group of students with actual problem set questions. Alec takes that as his cue to leave, feeling happy and light as Professor Bane says he’ll see him tomorrow.

It’s a feeling that no one outside of his family has ever made him feel before which is a scary realization for Alec though a part of him reasons that ignoring that fact seems like a foolish and immature route to take. On his way home, he resolves to ask Professor Bane out to dinner at office hours tomorrow to see if the feelings there are at all mutual and if not, tomorrow’s the last day he’ll be in that class so Alec can easily never have to see Professor Bane again (which is perfect for healing a broken heart).

~~~~~~

It's been over twelve hours and Alec is still riding an emotional high. Before class that morning, Alec checked in with his sister before her return flight and her enthusiasm about her successes that week, both on her research presentation and networking, helped maintain his own about asking Professor Bane out. Okay, maybe Alec's a little worried about being blatantly rejected but he feels something between them deep in his gut and he tries to trust his instincts for they rarely steer him wrong.

Alec arrives early to class so he can ensure that he gets the same front row seat that he had on Wednesday. If this is the last day that Alec will have a reason to be in Professor Bane's company, then Alec wants to ensure he doesn't miss a single beautiful piece. And if this week has taught him anything, it's that he knows Professor Bane won't disappoint.

Professor Bane slips through the front classroom door with only one minute to spare, leather satchel in one hand and a metal coffee thermos with a bi flag on it in the other. He shucks his black leather jacket after he sets his things on the front desk, revealing a dark maroon button up and a black and gold paisley vest underneath. He takes a plain manila folder from his bag as he addresses the class, "Good morning everyone! Please pass your problem sets to the end of your rows and then shuffle them forwards, to me." He raises the folder and gives it a little shake to further explain his point. His picks up his thermos to take a sip as his eyes trace over the room, waitings for everyone to comply with his request. He flashes a small smile at Alec when their eyes meet before collecting the stack of assignments from the front row and starting class.

Once class is over, Alec pauses for a moment in his seat, taking the time to reflect on his genuine sadness about class being over while everyone else sets off for lunch in a flurry of motion. He's actually enjoyed retaking physics this past week for the way that Professor Bane teaches the subject matter is engaging and refreshing. It’s a nice and unexpected reaction to have when Alec was originally annoyed at the rather big demand made by his younger sister to take notes for her while she was absent.

When Alec looks up, the classroom is mostly empty and Professor Bane is gone, probably enroute to the physics building for his office hours. Alec packs up his bag slowly, trying to push down this building feeling of nerves that is taking life in his stomach. He felt so sure about this next step over the past twenty hours but now that it's actually go time, his brain is making his anxiety known.

The stars must really support Alec pursuing his growing feelings because his eyes catch on the glint of Professor Bane’s forgotten coffee thermos sitting on the front desk. Suddenly having an excuse to go to Professor Bane’s office quiets the doubt clouding Alec’s mind, he reasons to himself as he walks to the physics building with the thermos in hand that he’ll return the thermos and if it feels right, ask Professor Bane out. It sounds easy and smooth sailing, absolutely frictionless.

~~~~~~

Alec hasn’t even raised his hand to knock on the office doorway when Professor Bane looks up from the manilla folder of assignments strewn across his desk. He raises an eyebrow, “here to turn in your assignment late?”

The tone is a borderline cold and any possible reason for that is escaping Alec’s brain. He shakes his head no as enters the office, grateful that once again there are no other students present. “I’m here to return this”, he places the thermos on the table. “I thought you might be missing it.” He turns it slowly so the bi flag sticker is directly in front of Professor Bane, who seems to smile to himself at the gesture as if it invokes a fond memory. “I have the rainbow flag version on my water bottle,” Alec shares, feeling as though he needs to shift the mood since he’s sure that he’s part of the reason for the standoffishness.

Professor Bane looks back up to Alec’s face with a tight, confused expression, “so you’re just not going to turn in your homework?”

“No -I’m not in your class.” Professor Bane’s face shifts from cold anger to complete confusion in a split second and that’s when it clicks for Alec. Izzy probably only asked her professor if she could take the week off for her conference to which she was granted approval and given a reminder that she’s responsible for any information she misses. It’s highly unlikely that Izzy asked if it was okay for her brother, Alec, to sit in on the class to take notes for her this past week. Now that he’s thinking about it, he even has a vague memory of being referred to as a student by Professor Bane before something (someone) else had distracted Alec from correcting the inference. He quickly rushes to explain the situation so it doesn’t seem like he just decided to start stalking Professor Bane one day, “I’ve been taking notes for my sister this week while she’s at a conference. She doesn’t have any friends in the class so she’s been making me send her scanned copies of my notes every night.”

Professor Bane nods his head slowly, as if he is processing each word tumbling from Alec’s mouth bit by bit. “Okay… good… that’s good to hear.”

Alec feels like Professor Bane is absorbing something different than Alec so it’s his turn to be confused, “good?”

“Yeah good because I was worried for a moment that you’d been trying to flirt your way out of doing your homework.” Professor Bane visibly relaxes against the back of his chair, like he can finally breathe with this conflict no longer eating at him. “I have a strict personal rule about not becoming involved with students, not even a nontraditional student.”

“Nontraditional student?” Alec asks, trying to keep the excitement and hope building in his stomach to a minimum so it doesn't rush to his head before he understands the entire situation.

“Yeah - a student that is older than the traditional college student age bracket of eighteen to twenty-two. Nontraditional. You.” Professor Bane explains with a vague hand gesture in Alec’s general direction.

“I’m actually a _grad_ student in mechanical engineering - I’ve taken all my courses but I’m just finishing my thesis research.” He watches Professor Bane take in this new piece of information, hearing the soft, relieved “oh” he lets out when it settles.

Alec feels a little more confident now that his feelings might not be all that one sided, “and to be honest with you, I also came up here to ask if you’d want to get dinner with me sometime?”

Professor Bane tilts his head slightly up, looking for something in Alec’s face. “Like a date?”

“Yes,” Alec says around a soft smile, still trying to keep his excitement at bay and come across as genuine as possible. He pauses for a moment before he amends, “I mean if you’re single and also interested then yes.”

“I am both.” Professor Bane smiles warmly, his whole face light up in the early afternoon window light. Alec’s never seen a more beautiful sight. “Single and interested.”

“Good.” Alec no longer holds back from his excitement, letting his smile grow.

Professor Bane pushes back on his chair as he stands to his full height. “Yeah, good.”

They stand like that for a moment, two feet and a desk between them, with big, full white teeth smiles on their faces. Alec doesn’t want the moment to end and Professor Bane must share that sentiment for he asks, “want to move our date up to now? I was thinking we could get coffee since mine’s cold by now.”

“Sounds perfect…” Alec pauses, realizing that he hasn’t actually read Professor Bane’s first name anywhere this week. Professor Bane walks around his desk with a smirk as he approaches. Clearly knowing Alec’s dilemma, Professor Bane finishes the statement, “Magnus.”

“Ready to go _Magnus_ ?” The emphasis on the name is slight, more for Alec to feel the weight of his crush’s first name in his mouth. Magnus gestures to the door in an ‘after you’ kind of motion. Alec leans against the wall next to the office door as Magnus flips over a sheet of paper that reads _‘OFFICE HOURS CANCELED - please email me if you have pressing questions’_ and adheres it to the center of the door. Alec raises an eyebrow at the already made sign, “do you bail on office hours often?”

Magnus laughs as he shakes his head no, “I made it a couple of weeks ago when I had a coffee emergency where I spilled some on my lap so I had to go home to change.” He locks up the door before straightening and turning to Alec, “I don’t want to make a habit of it but this is a special occasion.”

“Is it?” Alec can’t help but ask, meaning it to be teasing and playful but instead sounding a whole lot hopeful yet a little unsure. Magnus offers his hand, gesturing to the stairs with a small nod of his head. Alec takes the offered hand immediately, marveling at how warm, soft, and _nice_ Magnus’s hand feels.

“It is.” Magnus says with a private smile at their joined hands, giving it a reassuring squeeze before leading Alec to the stairs. “Have you ever been to Downworlder Doughnuts?”

Since Magnus doesn’t have to be back on campus until 2pm and Alec’s only plans for the rest of the day are to pick up Izzy at the airport at 5pm, they turn their coffee date into a lunch date at Seelie’s Court, a local vegetarian restaurant. Alec learns that Magnus has been teaching at the university for about three years and taught at an even bigger university for two years before moving somewhere a little smaller with a good research equipment. He also worked in industry for a couple of years after getting his PhD before returning to academia, finding that he missed the passion and opportunity to inspire future physicists. Alec shares about his own experiences in industry before coming back to school to get his PhD. When Magnus asks what Alec plans to do once he does receive his degree, he says that being a TA a couple days a week for his advisor’s lab has made him interested in teaching. Magnus laughed in response, asking if they’re going to become one of those cliche professor couples which made Alec’s heart beat faster at being referred to as a _couple_ and the fact that Magnus also already kinda sees a _them_ in the future. Alec managed to play it cool in the moment though, saying that they have some time to decide just how cliche they want to be.

Since Seelie Court is on the same street as Downworlder Doughnuts, after lunch they stop for caffeine and something sweet before walking back to the office together. Alec holds both of their to go coffee cups as Magnus unlocks the door, teasing Alec the whole time about his drink choice.

“What do you have against pumpkin spice lattes?” Alec asks as he heads into the now open office, pretending to sound affronted even though his grin gives him away. He stops in front of the desk and turns slightly to maintain eye contact with Magnus as he walks into the office.

“Nothing!” Magnus reassures with a playful smile, stopping right in front of Alec. “I just didn’t think that’d be your preferred drink of choice Alexander.”

Alec scoffs slightly as he places Magnus’s coffee on the desk, his eyes catch on something propped up against the corner of the monitor: his final photo edit. Seeing it displayed somewhere Magnus looks often, like it means something to him, really soothes the concerns Alec has about how _too_ _good_ this date is going, how _too easy_ things seem between them, how _too much_ he already feels after just one week of knowing Magnus. Alec leans back up, speaking slowly as he processes his sudden hyper awareness of just how close they are standing, “I may have a sweet tooth.”

“A sweet tooth?” Magnus echoes as Alec’s eyes flick down to Magnus’s lips when they twitch into a smirk, clearly aware of the kind of effect he has. Alec licks his bottom lip, as if to taste the sweetness from his latter and the doughnut they shared, delighted when Magnus’s eyes follow the movement. Mustering what he can for courage, Alec can’t help but breathlessly ask as he tastes the sweetness of his crush’s name on his tongue, “Magnus, can I kiss you?”

Magnus’s expression goes soft around the edges, losing all traces of their teasing banter at the quiet question, “yes.” Alec wastes no time in closing the little remaining distance between their lips for a full kiss, that is sloppy and off center. Magnus tilts his head just so to right them and when he moves his lips against Alec’s, he feels like he’s burning up from the inside with desire, the chemistry between them ignited by the simple friction of their lips. The kiss is unhurried and soft, like they both know that it’s just the first of many, many more which is a thought that fills Alec with excitement when they pull away for air. “I can see the appeal.”

It takes him a moment to realize what Magnus is referring to but once Alec does, he barks out a hearty laugh. He watches the laugh lines appear around Magnus’s eyes as his smug smile grows at Alec’s response. “For our next date I’ll take you to my favorite coffee shop that makes the best pumpkin spice lattes in the whole county.”

The teasing mixes in so well with their flirting, their conversations, their chemistry and it just feels so right - _they_ feel so right like how it felt when his mom brought home papers to legally adopt Jace or early morning meditative work outs or being behind the lens for the first time.

“I’d like that,” Magnus says with an honesty that destroys any residual anxiety Alec feels about Magnus not wanting a second date after their not entirely smooth first kiss. It’s an honesty that brings Alec back to that feeling in his gut that pushed him to ask Magnus out. That feeling lightens him now, making him feel so warm and so full of excitement for the potential between them -for countless research discussions, art gallery visits, coffee runs, endless teasing, and lots and lots of sweet kisses with _Magnus_.

“Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is not beta read, so please point out any major errors to me!! hope you enjoyed it and would love to hear your thoughts?? 
> 
> wanna like this post or just see what else i cry about on the internet? find it all here at my tumblr, [@maiababerts!](https://maiababerts.tumblr.com/post/165635012151/forces-on-the-heart-an-85k-malec-meet-cute-in)


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